Being in a relationship that is not good for you can not only be emotionally tolling, but it can also lead to overall distrust, pain, weakened health, and even PTSD. We’ve all dated at least one person, but there are some individuals that are worst than the rest. Narcissists have a way to keep you with them, but at the same time, manipulate and emotionally damage you for months and even years. If you are feeling unhappy in the relationship and if you are feeling gaslit, manipulated, and like you are never enough, you may be dating a covert narcissist. Keep on reading to learn some of the other signs you are dating a self-obsessed person, and how to deal with that.
1. They get upset if you try to criticize them
The first sign that you are involved with a person who is self-obsessed is not being able to express your feelings or talk about improvement with your partner. We all want to help others live up to their full potential, and when it comes to people we love, we want to point out negative sides, or we just want to help them be better and achieve more.
When you are dating a covert narcissist, you will not be able to criticize them, no matter if it is about their daily routine or anything else. Even if you try and complain about something they are doing in the relationship or something they constantly forget to do, they are not going to accept it and they are never going to be open to constructive criticism.
2. They hold grudges for too long
Holding a grudge, especially in a relationship is one of the worst things you can do. Yes, we all get upset over something, and sometimes we stick to that feeling for a day or even a week. Regular people usually forget about that thing after a while, or they just confront their partner and resolve the issue right away.
Covert narcissists will not let go of that negative feeling and they will remember every single thing you’ve ever done. They will be upset with you for weeks and even months, and they will repeat it over and over again just to make you feel worse about yourself.
3. They are jealous and envious
Being jealous and possessive in a relationship is something that we’ve all done before, and we want the person we are with to be just ours. This is a trait that most people have, but more often than not, we try to control this, and we don’t want to ruin our relationship because of hypothetical situations and imaginary threats. Narcissists are not like this, and they are going to stay jealous and blame you for all the things you have and haven’t done.
On the same note, people who are self-obsessed are going to be envious of everything others have, and they will never feel content with the things they have. They will think that everyone has more, but that they deserve the best.
4. They are always passive-aggressive
Passive-aggressive comments are one of the biggest traits covert narcissists have. They are not going to directly confront you over things, and they are always going to leave snarky comments and try to make you feel bad about doing or saying something.
As you can see if you click here, a covert narcissist will not tell you directly what they mean, and they will try to make you feel bad and uncomfortable without actually being the direct reason for that. If you try to comment on their behavior, they will either dismiss it and tell you that you are imagining things, or they will just say it was a joke.
5. You cannot sense any empathy
Most people in the world feel emphatic when someone is sad, is in pain, or when another person is suffering. No matter if we are watching something on the news, if we are witnessing an unpleasant situation, or if we are talking about a sensitive hypothetical topic, chances are, we all stand up for the weaker person and we want things in the world to be right.
People who are self-obsessed are not going to show empathy, especially if you try to share your personal struggles and if you are going through a tough time. At the beginning of the relationship, they may show false empathy, but in time that will go away as well.
6. They constantly blame you
Blaming the other person in the relationship when there is an issue is something we’ve always done. We know how wrong it is, but it is difficult for most of us to admit that sometimes it is our fault for the argument or the misunderstanding.
When you are in a relationship with a self-obsessed person, they will constantly blame you for everything, no matter if the things were your fault or not. They will put the blame on you even for their personal failures and things that have nothing to do with you.
7. They are overly confident
It is good to be confident, and most of us fall for people who know their worth. However, if the person you are dating constantly thinks that they are the best in everything; if they don’t except that anyone else can know better, and if they think they are the mastermind in every situation, you may be dealing with a narcissist.
Even though this is not the only trait these people have; if you notice that they are always trying to be right and they don’t respect the opinion of anyone else, chances are, they are a narcissist. Note that with this comes the belittling, and if you ever try to prove them wrong, they will say that you don’t know what you are talking about and they are the only person who knows better.
These are some of the signs that you may be dating a person who is self-obsessed. If you are unhappy in the relationship, if you are feeling like your self-worth is minimized and if you are constantly trying to show your partner that you are worthy, it is better for you to get out of the relationship than to try and change your partner.